The Power of Edgy Conversations: What I Learned as a Filipina Toastmasters Club President
When I said yes to becoming president of our Toastmasters club, I didn’t know I was also saying yes to discomfort.
Not the kind that comes with public speaking (although that too). I’m talking about the kind that comes with leading a room— especially as a quiet, Filipino woman raised to avoid confrontation and keep the peace.
“Be gracious.”
“Be respectful.”
“Don’t rock the boat.”
These values were etched into my upbringing—and in many ways, they’ve served me well. But what I didn’t realize until I stepped into leadership was that those same values could also hold me back… from saying what needed to be said, from naming the elephant in the room, from inviting the real conversations.
The ones that are a little edgy. The ones that make your palms sweat. The ones that have the power to create actual change—not just polite agreement.
Toastmasters taught me to speak.
Being president taught me to listen differently.
And I realized: A safe space isn’t the same as a growth space.
If we want transformation, we need to make room for discomfort.
That’s when I began to lean in. Not forcefully. Not performatively. But with curiosity. With courage.
As a Filipina leader and entrepreneur, this was my biggest shift:
Learning that I could still be kind, respectful, and culturally rooted
while also being direct, bold, and truth-telling.
That edgy doesn’t mean harsh. It means honest. It means alive. It means we’re not tiptoeing anymore.
Because when one person dares to go deeper, it gives everyone else permission to do the same.
So here’s what I now believe:
Edgy conversations are a form of love. They are an act of leadership. They are the soil where trust and transformation grow.
And for anyone—especially my fellow quietly ambitious, people-pleasing Filipinas— who’s afraid that being bold will make you “too much,” I want to offer this:
You can be kind and disruptive. You can be grounded and unafraid to challenge the room. You can honor your culture and evolve what leadership looks like within it.
We need your voice. Not just your polished speeches. But your whole, truth-telling, expansive self.
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