Gratitude Through Heartache: Learning to Embrace Mourning and Grieving
Grief is a universal emotion that can be difficult to process and understand. The feelings of loss, sadness, and despair are real, but they do not have to be something we go through alone. Everyone experiences grief differently; some may find solace in talking with family and friends, while others may seek comfort in spiritual practices or hobbies. But regardless of how one grieves, there are ways to cope with heartache that can bring peace and joy even during the most difficult times. Through open communication, support from those around us, and understanding of our individual needs, we can learn to embrace mourning as part of our healing journey.
Some people would say, "It is time to move on." Instead, I think about it as "It is time to live on."
Grieving can be a difficult and isolating experience, but it doesn’t have to be. By taking time to process the pain and find joy in the mourning, one can move through their grief with more ease and understanding. Joy in mourning is not a replacement for sadness or sorrow — it is an opportunity to find moments of peace amongst the anguish.
Finding joy in the midst of mourning requires us to tap into our inner self—that part of us that remains untouched by grief. It’s about finding solace and comfort when it feels like there might not be any left. Through different practices such as yoga, journaling, or meditation, we can access that part of ourselves that has strength and resilience even when sadness takes over.
I posted this on Facebook last year, 2022, during Father's Day, and I wanted to share it here again.
To the first person who believed I could be a good life coach.
It’s been 19 years since I last saw you, held your hand, touched you, hugged you, or just sat in your presence. I miss you. I really, really miss you. I miss the sound of your voice and how you’d call me Honeygirl. I miss your hugs. I wish I could hug you right now. I miss your words of wisdom and your sense of humor.
Not a day goes by when I don’t imagine what life would be like had you not passed away. Every situation I’m in, especially the challenging ones…I wonder what Papa would say? What would he do? Or sharing successful moments like telling you I’m a Professional Coach now.
You were the very first person I shared this with. I vividly remember….It’s the fall of 2001. I’m 28 years old. I’m driving home from work. I am excited to tell you that I want to be a nurse's life coach. You listened as I shared my vision, frustrations, and reasons I wanted to coach. I told you that as nurses, we keep giving, caring, caring, and caring but forget to care for ourselves.
Your eyes lit up, and you got excited, too. You thought it was a brilliant idea to be a life coach and started creating a business plan for me. I wish I could still find that business plan.
Well, Papa, I’m proud to say that although it took two decades, I’m coaching now and still working as a nurse. Let’s see how things will unfold. I love coaching, and I’m a damn good one too. I hope I’m making you proud.
I like to believe you’re watching over Mama, Kaye, Kim, Kristoffer, and me.
You were the most significant influence in my life.
A father is the one who guides his daughter through life, and now, even in death, you are teaching me. You are constantly showing me that love never dies. You speak to me through butterflies, feathers, flowers, and music; if I listen closely, I can still hear your voice.
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not “get over” the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same. Nor would you want to.”
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